Chuck Van Hall, my wife, Gabi and I represented Olympia at the national PFLAG conference in Washington, D.C., which coincided with the Millennium March on Washington at the end of April. It was a four-day love fest filled with tears and laughter, and memories to last a lifetime.
The first indication it was going to be something special came when our American Airlines jet prepared to land in D.C. The pilot made the usual prepare-for-landing spiel and then welcomed all of the millennium marchers, and a huge cheer went up. Seems like half the passengers were GLBT folks.
The festive spirit carried over, as it seemed like the whole town was turning out for us. Everywhere we went, people were wearing supportive buttons and shirts. Gay couples were holding hands, and strangers were greeting one another with hugs.
Approximately 900 people showed up for the PFLAG conference. First Lady in Waiting, Tipper Gore gave the keynote address, which was followed by a panel discussion on GLBT issues. Then came the highlight of the evening: stories and songs by Steve Schalchlin.
Schalchlin, a songwriter living with AIDS, was the lyricist for the hit musical, “The Last Session.” The entertainment became very personal when he debuted two new songs written especially for the PFLAG conference. The first was “Will It Always Be Like This? (Gabi’s Song)” about our son Bill, who was assaulted in a hate crime on the campus of Olympia High School in 1995, and who later committed suicide; and about how Gabi took that tragedy and turned it into a crusade.
Needless to say, there was not a dry eye in the house, and all of our friends held our hands and hugged us while he sang. (I’m tearing up just writing about it). Then he sang “ William’s Song,” the story of Willi Wagner who was gay bashed at school in Arkansas, and his mother, Carolyn, who took the school to court. The song asks the question: “Why does it take five big guys to beat up one little queer?” Willi and Carolyn were also in the audience. The crowd went absolutely berserk when Steve sang the lines: “He said it’s William’s fault for walkin’ funny. She said that’s gonna cost you money.”
The bulk of the conference was taken up with workshops on issues ranging from homophobia to bisexual and trans issues, to racial and ethnic issues. While these were going on, youth rallies were being held elsewhere in town, and that night was the huge Equality Rocks concert with Ellen deGeneres and a host of stars. We weren’t able to make that, but we heard it was a blast. While thousands were rocking out with Ellen, we attended the PFLAG awards banquet. Speakers included Dennis and Judy Shepard, the parents of Matthew Shepard.
The highlight of the evening once again touched a personal chord. National PFLAG president Paul Beeman, who founded our own Olympia chapter, wanted to raise money for a national PFLAG Safe Schools Project. Being the master at staging these things that he is, Paul asked parents whose children had been gay bashed to tell their stories. Carolyn Wagner first told Willy’s story. Then Gabi told Bill’s story. (Incidentally, she outed me in front of 900 people when she said, “When Bill said to me, ‘Mom, I’m bisexual,’ the first thing out of my mouth was, ‘So’s your dad.”) Finally, Leslie Sadasivan told the story of her son, Robbie Kirkland, who committed suicide at 14. Then Paul got up and told the audience that PFLAG wanted to raise something like $130,000 to help prevent such tragedies from happening again. A man in the audience stood up and said, “I’ll pledge a thousand dollars.” Someone else followed suite. Then another and another. One person said he would pledge a thousand in memory of Robbie Kirkland, and then Paul said the donation from him and Betty would be in memory of Bill Clayton. Within half an hour they got pledges totaling more than $90,000.
Then came the march on a beautiful day with a blazing sun and temperatures in the mid-70s and marchers in the hundreds of thousands heading to the Mall. The biggest cheers from the crowd came when the PFLAG members marched by, all in red T-shirts, and when the Vermont contingent passed by. An estimated 700,000 gathered on the mall, and over a thousand said vows in a mass commitment ceremony in front of the Washington Monument. And there were countless speakers and entertainers in a day never to be forgotten.